Pessimistic thoughts are very common. I, myself, am guilty of this. Several times my mom has caught me telling myself negative things such as “What’s the point in trying if I’m going to get rejected,” “I’m not good enough,” “Maybe I should just give up and save myself the effort.”
These thoughts are neither helpful nor constructive, and my motto “always expect the worst so you’ll never be disappointed” is not a positive or encouraging way to think. Sometimes, when I look back on it, I realize the number of opportunities I simply missed just because I thought I wasn’t good enough. One instance struck me in particular; in eleventh grade, I was contemplating not applying for an extremely selective research internship at a local university. I was afraid because my test scores were quite low; however, last minute, I decided to give it a shot. I put my heart into my essay and submitted it two hours before the due date. It was a close call, and I was sincerely thinking about not applying. What was the point of applying and working hard on my essays and application if I wasn’t going to get in?
But guess what, I did get in. If I let those pessimistic thoughts get to me, I would have lost a valuable opportunity.
These thoughts tend to make you feel worse about yourself; they make every day seem gloomier than it is. This pessimistic thinking is characterized by the belief that bad things are a common occurrence and that there is little hope for the future; I, myself, am guilty of thinking this way. I end up being upset for most of the day, not quite knowing why.
Automatic negative thoughts are spontaneous, often fleeing thoughts that can cast a shadow over your mood and perceptions. For example, before meeting someone I might think to myself: “What if they don’t like me?” They appear without a particular conscious effort, usually as a response to certain triggers or situations. Several times, when people are disappointed over and over again, they tend to start expecting it. “I’m just going to fail again” or “I’m always going to be bad at this, so why bother?”
However, breaking this cycle of negative thinking can seem impossible. You might believe that you are simply wired to think like this, but that isn’t the case. Sometimes, the healing process can be daunting, but learning how to stay positive can completely change your outlook on life as a whole. It is worth trying.
These negative thinking patterns can lead to increased anxiety and stress, depression, low self-esteem, poor sleep quality, and a weakened immune system.
How to break the cycle of pessimistic thinking:
- Question or challenge the thought: when a negative thought arises, pause and consider whether there is real evidence to support it. Ask yourself questions such as “Is this really true?” or “Am I exaggerating?”
- Engage in positive self-talk: replace negative thoughts with positive statements; this can help shift your mindset and help you feel more confident.
- Practice reframing: reframe negative statements into more positive criticism, look for the silver lining or consider what you can learn.
- Try meditation and mindfulness: these two practices can help you become more aware of your thoughts and how you feel without being overwhelmed; by focusing on the present, the impact of negative thoughts will be less draining.
- Write your thoughts down: journaling is an excellent way to track patterns in your thinking and find out what triggers your negative thoughts.
- Practice self-compassion: learn to treat yourself with kindness and understand that you can make mistakes, and that it is a part of growth.
Cites used:
https://www.calm.com/blog/automatic-negative-thoughts
Written By: Siri Munnuluri, Mental H2O Youth Resource Writer
