Being “alone” is a physical state where you are physically by yourself. However, being “lonely” refers to one’s emotional state where one feels as if they are alone or disconnected from others— even when they’re right next to you. Loneliness is an emotion, which describes a feeling of sadness attributed to not having connection.
There have been several times when I have felt lonely. Sometimes when my parents or out and my friends are busy, I feel like I have nobody to talk to. Thus, I like to immerse myself in constant work; from writing articles to doing additional research, I feel drained most of the time. Especially as someone who keeps close to herself and has only a circle of around three friends, I feel especially disconnected sometimes. When the summer holidays are near, I get worried about this distance between us that feels like the size of a chasm. While we do text occasionally, I feel separated from them, unable to connect with them on a deeper level.
Solitude, at least for a little while, is something that we as humans can crave. Sometimes, we are happy to be by ourselves. Understanding that wanting to be alone does not equate to what one may call “feeling lonely.”
Loneliness can be accompanied by deeply rooted feelings of self-doubt, low self-esteem, or social anxiety. As someone who feels awkward in social settings, there have been several times when where I have felt alone at parties or gatherings simply because I was unable to connect with others.
What to Avoid When You Are Feeling Lonely:
- Drinking alcohol by yourself
- Utilizing excess screen time (TV, phone, tablet) as a substitute for social activities
- Escaping your feelings through other substances like none-prescribed medications
Here are some tips and suggestions for managing feelings of loneliness:
- Learn more about being comfortable in your own company
- Try and open up to people you know
- Take it slow
- Make new connections
- Try not to compare yourself to others
- Look after yourself
- Try talking therapies
If you have been feeling lonely for a long time, it might feel overwhelming to open up to new and more people. Trying to meet new people might also worry you, but understanding that you don’t need to rush into anything is vital for your mental health. Make sure to start small, try and make conversations with people you come across in your day-to-day life. For example, this can include small things like saying hello to the cashier in your local shop or making conversation with a neighbor as you take a stroll outside.
Sometimes people find it useful to be in environments where there are lots of people around. For example, coffee, shops, libraries, or shopping centers. Feeling the presence of other people may help ease some feelings of loneliness. In addition, it might help to establish a routine, where you go to the same places at the same time. This will help you recognize the people in these places and can help you form valuable connections.
Possibly try thinking about how your interests could help you connect with other people. For example, if you like reading, you can join an online forum for conversations about books. You could also spend some time in a local library before joining a book club. Focus on finding environments you feel comfortable and safe in.
Written By: Siri Munnuluri, Mental H2O Youth Resource Writer
