Narcissism is a concept that has characterized people for generations. Freud was one of the first to draw attention to narcissism in particular. He took an example from the Greek myth, where Narcissus looks into a river, falls in love with his own reflection, and eventually dies because he, himself, could not satisfy all the desires he had. Freud began his research on narcissism, but many things have evolved since then. Freud pointed out that narcissism is not only a pathology; it is also part of normal development, and this affects the subsequent development of the child.

A narcissist is a person whose self-esteem is completely dependent on other people’s evaluations and affirmations. A narcissist always needs this attention. There are narcissists who are successful in their work and receive this affirmation, and there are ones who do not receive it and are worried about it. As with any psychopathology, we can look for many things in childhood in the case of narcissism, because many psychopathologies that are considered normal in childhood are not normal in adulthood.

Narcissism in childhood is not only considered the norm but also necessary to be satisfied.

Freud touched on this, saying that narcissists behave like children.

Primary narcissism is manifested when a child appears in the world; there is no differentiation for them. As a child is small, they need more care to survive. The child has the feeling that the whole world revolves around them, and that’s right, because they don’t have the ability to verbalize, so everything is done by their parents. This is a narcissistic condition, and they must have this experience; if they don’t have it, the child will have problems in the future.

There is a grandiose narcissist and a depressed narcissist. A grandiose narcissist is a person who expresses and more or less indulges in his pathological desires and abilities. A depressed narcissist is a person who is oppressed in this life and believes that he does not have something that belongs to him: better times, a better presidency, or being a star. There are more depressed narcissists.

Grandiose narcissists hide an embarrassed child inside themselves, and depressed narcissists hide a grandiose personality inside themselves. All narcissists are characterized by inner failure, shame, weakness, and inferiority. A narcissist carries out compensatory behaviors for these qualities. Narcissists do the opposite of what they are not. A narcissist feels unloved inside; they have internal ideas of how they should look and how successful they should be. A narcissist is a person who cannot love. The sense of morality is also less; they cannot feel guilt; instead, they feel shame. They are afraid to be seen as bad or wrong. Narcissists cannot experience morality because, when they look at other people, they see themselves as if they were looking in a mirror. They cannot consider another person, and they may be characterized by envy. A successful narcissist might even be loved by society.

Narcissistic personality disorder can be caused by negative childhood experiences, a child feeling that they are rejected, or a lack of support. Also, overindulging children can have the same consequences. Parents being overprotective, showing a lack of warmth, being lenient, constantly praising and promoting perfection, or maltreating and being abusive can have a major influence on children.

Treatment for NPD primarily consists of talk therapy. It can help to relate to other people better, so the relationships become more rewarding and intimate. Talk therapy can also help develop better interaction skills with other people, which will benefit a person’s life and elevate the stress caused by narcissism.

Overall, narcissism is very prevalent, especially in today’s world. It plays a crucial role during a child’s development; however, as a child grows up, they must overcome the narcissism and grow out of it. NPD can be very daunting and depressing for a person, and help is crucial.

Written By: Mariam Shengelia, Mental H2O Youth Resource Writer

Professional, C. C. M. (n.d.-d). Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Cleveland Clinic. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/9742-narcissistic-personality-disorder

Kerr, M. (2022d, July 25). Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Healthline. https://www.healthline.com/health/narcissistic-personality-disorder#treatment