If you are in the US:
Call 988 for suicide and crisis help
Text 741741 for self-harm
Self-harm is a difficult topic to deal with, self-harm is a negative coping mechanism that people recognize isn’t healthy, but many struggle to overcome. This is because self-harm comes from a mindset in which the one inflicting pain on yourself is deserved and necessary. This mindset can make it difficult to quit self-harm as there aren’t many health alternatives to it. Unlike other addictions which are derived from joy or pleasure, self-harm comes from pain which is a feeling most don’t want to feel. This makes it difficult for those who don’t understand the purpose of self-harm to help those they know to overcome it.
Overcoming Self-Harm
One of the first steps in overcoming self-harm is to change your mindset. This is easier said than done. Realizing that you don’t deserve to feel the pain you feel or that harming yourself isn’t a valid way to deal with your emotions is not just hard to understand but also implement. Coming to these realizations often requires a person to come to terms with trauma from the past, which could be years of torment and pain for a person to face. Overcoming self-harm is a hard and not always linear experience, one day you might feel fine and the next you might relapse. This is why using alternatives or strategies to help overcome self-harm is necessary during the healing process. Here are some tips and strategies to help fight self-harm urges and stay clean.
Celebrate The Small Wins
Whether it’s one day clean, a week, or a month, each one is a victory that deserves to be celebrated. Be proud of yourself even just for getting through the day, getting stuck on the fact that you haven’t been clean for a certain amount of time or thinking that getting through one day isn’t worth anything is a mindset that can make it easier for yourself to relapse. Treating yourself for your victories can be helpful too and give for something to look forward to. For example, for every week that you survived while staying clean, treat yourself a little, whether it’s getting ice cream, taking a relaxing long bath, or watching a movie. By treating yourself with a reward you have something to look forward to every week that helps motivate you to stay clean.
Count The Days
Have you ever worked hard to keep a streak, maybe perfect attendance or something as simple as a wordle streak? Taking that streak mentality and counting the days can help make you second-think when relapsing. If you had a hundred-day streak of being clean, you have to think, is it worth it to lose that streak, all that hard work? You can count physically yourself if you like the satisfaction of crossing each day off, or you can use an app, which can count down to the seconds of your sobriety. Either way, keeping count can help you second-think whenever you may have urges.
Alternatives
While on your journey to be self-harm-free, you may encounter urges to self-harm. One of the ways to overcome these urges is to use an alternative to self-harm. Something that will give a kick, but not produce any real pain. Cold water is a common tactic to use. From splashing some in your face to sticking your hand in a bowl of ice for a few seconds, cold water can give a necessary wake-up call and refresh you. Lemon juice also provides a kick and refreshes, just a shot of lemon juice can be enough to help. In more extreme cases a hair tie might be helpful. Placing it on your wrist and pulling it back to give a small smack can resemble some of the pain that self-harm causes, without any scars or serious damage. Although not all of these alternatives may help, looking to find what works for you is important and can prevent a relapse.
Overall
While stopping self-harm is a hard journey to overcome and isn’t always linear, there are ways to help the process. Becoming free from self-harm is a very personal journey, so the same ideas or strategies may not work for you, but don’t give up! Find what can help you to overcome your struggles and remember it’s always okay to ask for help. If things are getting tough, remember that there’s someone out there waiting to help you, you just need to remember to reach out.
If you are in the US:
Call 988 for suicide and crisis help
Text 741741 for self-harm
Written By: Jaelyn Diaz, Mental H2O Youth Resource Writer
